Smoky Mountain Colors

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Thought from the heart

Photo by Saundra McBride

Even though I have tons of knitting stuff to share, this weekend my mind and spirit has been filled with something else.

This year seems to be filled with people (some who know me and some that only know me professionally) who feel like it is their RIGHT to inform me of what they feel is wrong with my life, to let me know what they believe are my faults and why they don't perceive that I'm happy. I've also been told that I'm not a complete person because I'm divorced and that I would be a "better person" if I was married.

So the straw that has brought this post happened this weekend. No details other to say that I am sure some of these people feel they have my best at heart. I'm not really ready to repeat what was said to me. But here is what I want to share with the world.

I am 52 year old grown woman. My life has been full of hardship, loss and victories. You don't have a clue to what I have faced because I have not told my story. I wasted time and money on superficial things, that didn't get me anything farther or accepted in this life. I did my time (27 years) getting up 2 hours early so that I could get the bathroom first to do the hair, the makeup, nails and have my clothes perfectly pressed before I headed out the door. I've done my time in that land. Don't take me wrong, I enjoy looking nice, clean and appropriately dressed, ok. But, in my struggles I have found that I was miserable on the inside and pretty on the outside. That sucked. That was not ME! It was during one of my down times that I realized. I'm tired of trying to please, trying to fit, trying to be perfect, because no matter what I will tick off someone, there is will always be something that someone will find that is wrong. So at that point, I said to hell with it all.

I accepted that I'm a jeans person, I accepted that I like my hair starting to gray, I accepted that I do like to wear makeup, I accepted that I can put a headband in my hair and it be ok, I have accepted that I am my own person. Yes there are still things I am working on, but I am honest, I am sincere, I cry with my friends and I laugh with their joy, I try to make their hard times easier and I support them and never judge them BECAUSE......

when you stand in front of someone, what you see is not the whole picture, is not their heart, what you see is not their story.

I encourage you to be YOU. Be yourself, be different if that is you, look like a million dollars if that is you, look natural if that is you, just be you and be happy being you.

Blessed be


Mouse said...

I just wanted to offer you *hugs* because I've been there/done that with a group of people who called themselves my friends. Just because we don't look or act like 'everybody else' doesn't mean we need fixing.

YarnFreak said...

A-men to that!! I know what your saying...I've been there-divorce, hardship,abused...but I made it through and I am a happier person...I am "ME"