Thought from the heart

Photo by Saundra McBride

Even though I have tons of knitting stuff to share, this weekend my mind and spirit has been filled with something else.

This year seems to be filled with people (some who know me and some that only know me professionally) who feel like it is their RIGHT to inform me of what they feel is wrong with my life, to let me know what they believe are my faults and why they don't perceive that I'm happy. I've also been told that I'm not a complete person because I'm divorced and that I would be a "better person" if I was married.

So the straw that has brought this post happened this weekend. No details other to say that I am sure some of these people feel they have my best at heart. I'm not really ready to repeat what was said to me. But here is what I want to share with the world.

I am 52 year old grown woman. My life has been full of hardship, loss and victories. You don't have a clue to what I have faced because I have not told my story. I wasted time and money on superficial things, that didn't get me anything farther or accepted in this life. I did my time (27 years) getting up 2 hours early so that I could get the bathroom first to do the hair, the makeup, nails and have my clothes perfectly pressed before I headed out the door. I've done my time in that land. Don't take me wrong, I enjoy looking nice, clean and appropriately dressed, ok. But, in my struggles I have found that I was miserable on the inside and pretty on the outside. That sucked. That was not ME! It was during one of my down times that I realized. I'm tired of trying to please, trying to fit, trying to be perfect, because no matter what I will tick off someone, there is will always be something that someone will find that is wrong. So at that point, I said to hell with it all.

I accepted that I'm a jeans person, I accepted that I like my hair starting to gray, I accepted that I do like to wear makeup, I accepted that I can put a headband in my hair and it be ok, I have accepted that I am my own person. Yes there are still things I am working on, but I am honest, I am sincere, I cry with my friends and I laugh with their joy, I try to make their hard times easier and I support them and never judge them BECAUSE......

when you stand in front of someone, what you see is not the whole picture, is not their heart, what you see is not their story.

I encourage you to be YOU. Be yourself, be different if that is you, look like a million dollars if that is you, look natural if that is you, just be you and be happy being you.

Blessed be
Satori

I'm knitting and stuff...

Its college football and time and I'm so excited. College football is a BIG DEAL in the south. Especially in the SEC Division. So I thought it would be fun to have a knitting project to do while I'm watching or listening to the games. This past Saturday, the Tennessee Volunteers had their first game under their new coach Lane Kiffin. OMG. It was awesome. I don't know how I got any knitting done. But I did, in fact the game inspired me to do a two color sock. The end zones at UT are checkered orange and white and so that's my pattern. Next week they play UCLA so I'll finish this sock and start the mate.

Some of my other knitting projects are things I'm doing to get ready for Christmas gift giving. I know it's a little early, but I'm usually caught short of time and this year I really want my holiday knitting done so I can enjoy the time.

This headband is from One Skein Wonders, 101 Yarn Shop Favorites, by Judith Durant. I took the headband from one pattern and the flower from another. I used 2 strands of Patons Classic Wool. The headband came out really nice, and I'm thinking about making a couple more of these. It's a great one day project and super for those left overs from other projects.


Another addition to my gift giving, or at least what was suppose to be gifts, are these two Circle Cloths. I found this pattern on Ravelry and just loved it. You can get really creative with this pattern by using two colors. I just stayed with what I had, but I may end up keeping these and making the two color ones as the gifts. It's another make it in a couple of hours projects that looks like you spent a lot longer on it.

Along with these I've been trying to finish up some things that have been on the needles way tooooooo loooonnnnnggggggg.

Again I'm amazed at the healing that comes with knitting. Recently I've found myself in a situation where I've had to make HUGE decisions without much time to look at all sides. For me that is " walking on thin ice." I've always been one when faced with life changing situations to look at it from every side and then make the decision. Knitting has been so therapeutic for me. Calming my mind, clearing my head and allowing me the space I've needed to make these decisions. Thank heavens for knitting.

Blessed Be