Inhale

For the past 27 years I've been a diagnosed asthmatic. I was asthmatic as a child but the doctor didn't address it. I'm not sure really what brought it on, but it happened and it's been one of those things that I've had to live with and deal with on a moment to moment basis. Life goes on no matter what. How you deal with what you face every moment of the day determines so much about your tomorrows. So that leads me to where I've been since Easter. 

Like asthma, it seems like this past month or so has had days where I could breath (figuratively speaking) easy and then there were days where it felt like someone was cutting off my breath and I was fighting to inhale. The joys were high and the lows were low. But in it all there were and are things to be so grateful for. I found that being able to sit down and knit or spin such a gift. It was in those times where I could hide myself and think and go through all the things I'm grateful for, coming out ready to see a bright side and the answers I needed, ready to see how God was going to work these things out, because they were beyond me.

So that's why I haven't been around, just dealing with things, handling the ever changing personality of a family member with dementia, and the endless juggling of life.

On a funny note, when I was in art school, I was always told that my best work came out of my pain. My creativity soared, as my mind filled with all these ideas and my execution of what medium I was using was right on point. Well it seems that I still have some of that, because through this past month I've casted on WAY too many things, but I just had to. I couldn't help myself, :-) so here's a little list.

• Celtic Kindle Cover
• A scarf
• Baby Surprise Jacket
• I'm writing a toe up sock pattern for beginners
• I'm about 1/3 into a Celtic Baby Blanket pattern that I'm writing
• and I started a shawl that I've ended up frogging because I didn't like how the yarn looked in that particular pattern.

That's just the knitting, let's talk spinning, LOL Actually I've been a good girl when it comes to spinning. I spun a friend of mine some beautiful BLF/silk for her birthday and I have some Polwarth to spin next, then some merino/bamboo/silk and then some merino silk and then...

In closing I want to let you know that it's really ok and a good thing to emerge yourself into things you love (healthy things) when times get a little overwhelming. Find things that slow your mind down and give yourself permission to deal with it all one step at a time. Realize that there are things that you just cannot handle. By acknowledging those things is a relief, it's a step in letting them go and allowing to work out. It clears the way for you handle what you can. So stop, and inhale, take a deep breath, focus on the slow exhale and be grateful, starting with being able to inhale.